Expectations
Wow, what I week I had. I attended and presented at the virtual International Imago Conference and my brain and heart are full. I only wish we had been in Nashville we had planned to be. It was a remarkable four days and I am excited to bring all I have learned into our work.
I’ve created this short video post to share a few highlights for me from one of the sessions on Safe Conversations. This only scratches the surface to much deeper work that I will share in time https://zoom.us/rec/share/2X6-2gYKO4JRGMZ2TxFuGLbXm7O7fyLqqxs1DFjBV84su3z-y9GG4Oh_UNeb2nba.DnTSZQALeUP0PDuf (10 minutes). Note at 1:18 I say “allwounds occur” that is inaccurate, what I wanted to say was “most wounds occur”.
And here is the “”still face experiment” I reference within my video post. This is an invitation to never underestimate how much your energy and your non-verbal communications impact those you are communicating with. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0 (less than 3 minutes)
This past week’s theme was expectations. More so the lack thereof. Inadequate expectations inevitably leads to recycling of conversations, frustrations, and can often impact trust in reliability and competence. How expectations are shared often lacks clarity and makes too many assumptions. The most powerful way to mitigate this is by mirroring. If you are setting expectations you can end with “I want to make sure I did not miss anything, what you heard me say is…” inviting them to complete the sentence with what they heard. Notice any gaps or misinterpretations and provide clarity. Keep doing this until what you hear back mirrors what you are expecting from them. Invite them to ask questions with “What did I leave out that you have questions about?” And similarly, if you are receiving expectations from someone your responsibility is to say “Let me make sure I got you, what I heard you need is… did I get you? Is there more?”. If everyone takes responsibility to make sure expectations are clear (and all other important communications) by way of mirroring not only will overall productivity improve, so will your relationships.
Another topic that came up a few times last week that is not unfamiliar to many of you is Imposter Syndrome. I’ve share this one with some of you before, this is my favourite TED talk on the topic https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_cannon_brookes_how_you_can_use_impostor_syndrome_to_your_benefit (14 minutes).